Insights

Have you ever experienced frustration, annoyance or disappointment (or even distress) after confiding in a trusted person? Maybe you felt completely misunderstood. Somehow they just didn’t understand what you needed. Perhaps you felt like a problem to be fixed. It seems the old adage ‘a problem shared is a problem halved’ isn’t always the case. So let me ask you a question: Do you always know what you are looking for when you confide in someone? Charles Duhigg* suggests

One stitch at a time... I am in the early stages of crocheting a blanket. Depending on how focused I am, it can take me up to an hour, just to complete one row. Sometimes I feel reluctant to pick it up, realising just how long it will take me to complete the project. Even though generally, I find the hobby very satisfying and relaxing, sometimes I just feel the end goal is too far off, too overwhelming... Motivation drains away as it trickles through my fingers like water. Th

Toxic Empathy Empathy is often described as a person’s ability to ‘ step into another person's shoes ’ or enter another person's world in order to view life through their eyes . It fuels connection and safety in relationship. What then, is toxic empathy? ‘ Toxic empathy is not only sharing someone else’s feelings but also affirming their choices and feelings as justified, valid and good .’ (Stuckey, 2025) And this is where it can get complicated; people who are suffering do

I wonder how clear this picture appears to you? A bit blurry, out of focus and perhaps it is not immediately obvious what you are looking at? If we take a step back, it seems a little different and maybe makes a little more sense? A close up of a slipper limpet. Still a bit unfocused though. If you look carefully at the images below, you will observe the same shell in each photograph. However, when the angle of the photograph is changed, things can appear remarkably different

What-if-itis If you are anything like me, that what-if narrative can kick in before I have even got out of bed in the morning, undermining my intentions for the day. Rarely, if ever, are what-ifs used in a positive way. For example, yesterday I had planned to go swimming but was feeling very tired and just the tiniest bit under the weather. What if I am developing flu? What if going swimming makes me feel even more tired today? What if the pool is really cold? What if I i

My grandma was a sentimental collector of things that were precious to her. She lived in a ramshackle and very cozy cottage, but tidy it...

“I feel like any minute they will find me out… I'm a fraud…I shouldn't be doing this job...” Imposter Syndrome Fred’s story: He was a...

Stephen Karpman’s Drama Triangle (The Drama triangle (daretosoartransformationalcoaching.co.uk) helps us to recognize and understand what...

Have you ever found yourself in a familiar, and usually infuriating, situation with someone where there is a suspicion they are playing...

Toxic Positivity Consider this (true) scenario: Liz (not her real name) lost her mother recently. She is, understandably, grieving but...

Disappointment As I write today, I have a horrible cold. It is not so bad that I need to languish in bed, but enough to take the edge off...

Safe relationships Relationships come in a wide variety of forms whether it be work, friendships, dating and so on, or more permanent...

Complaining Have you noticed how much, culturally, we love to complain? We do this so much, it could almost be classified as a hobby…...

Comparison A few weeks ago, I noticed that as I read through numerous inspiring, artistic and pertinent posts, I could feel my spirits...

The power of “NO” I wonder how many of us automatically say “yes” when someone asks something of us? There can be a million different...

Resting As is often the case, I find I am inspired to write a blog because the content resonates with something I am mulling over either...

This blog is dedicated to my dearest and closest friends... I hope you know who you are and how much I value you. Thank you for walking...

Kindness “Those of us who are kind and compassionate experience clear benefits to our well-being and happiness. We may even live longer. ...

Finding joy in the little things [Disclaimer: this blog contains reference to ABI (Aquired Brain Injury) which some readers may find...

“The gaps – the not knowing – brings pain and discomfort” (Brené Brown) Trying to make sense of our world and relationships can be really...

IT IS A MISTAKE TO THINK OF MISTAKES AS SOMETHING BAD!!! Richard Curwin (2014) Have you ever noticed that the worry about getting...

Small Wins “Keep track of all those little achievements that normally go unnoticed" (Amibile) I have been considering this notion of...

“Every last one of us is weird and different and that’s a beautiful thing. Diversity is not something to be threatened by. Or to avoid....

Have you ever wondered how some people just keep going when they hit an obstacle or tough times? Most of us have, at some point,...

When life is going well, it is so much easier to dwell on those things that bring us joy. But, human beings are wired towards a...

So what comes to mind when you first think of anger? I never get angry... Leave me alone in my cave... I’m so angry I need to...

Have you ever experienced a situation when you're sooooo cross, you just have to find someone to blame? Any fans of Brené Brown will love...

What are your thoughts about prejudice? Most of us like to think we are kind, and non-judgemental, and think we treat all people fairly....

Does the thought of having to change plans and be flexible at the last minute fill you with dread or delight? Imagine the scene: You have...

We are all aware of societal and cultural rules such as don’t speed, form an orderly queue, don’t steal and so on, but what about the...

Some years ago, I was having a difficult time feeling torn between many people's needs. Naturally I am generally a person who gravitates...

A very wise lady recently challenged me to consider whether or not I was a black and white thinker with regards to how I view myself and...

In a rare moment of silence, I find myself sitting alone in the garden, lapping up rays of warmth and golden light from the Autumnal...